This is going to be a last minute review of Brainstrips by Alan Bigelow.
The first section is titled ‘Deep Philosophical Questions…’ and it is a comic book with some deep philosophical questions. For example, is color real? I never believed colors were real. They always look fake. I think the rumors about the colors being products created secretly by the government to make us forget black and white is true. I am totally fine inside my box, thank you very much. I do not need to see the fake things outside of it. I pay my taxes and that should be enough. Another question is ‘Do trees have rights?’ and it is a good question. Some people believe they do have rights but I watched a YouTube video of a guy in his basement talking about those trees and he said trees are overrated and I think it may be true. Trees clean the air but I prefer animals because you are not allowed to have a tree as a pet.
The second section is titled ‘Science for Idiots’ which I do not need because I am smarter than everyone else. Especially my neighbor, George. He is a curious one. I do not understand why he never bothers to leave his trash on his side of the sidewalk on Mondays. I always find banana peels on the ground as I leave for the office and I just want to scream and throw a rock at his house. Perhaps I should ask him to look at Brainstrips. The part called ‘Evolution’ might teach him something. Maybe he could become as smart as I am and work in a nice cubical office just like me and earn more money. There is also a part called ‘Gravity and You’ and it is about gravity. It shows a person digging into the core of the world. I do not think this is real. I have never tried it myself but I do not believe you can actually dig that deep. There are some videos online about digging that deep but I think they are fake.
The third section is titled ‘Higher Math’ and I do not like this section. It is stupid. The part called ‘Subtraction’ shows a guy winning one million dollars by gambling. He only tries three times and wins big and it is not believable. I buy instant tickets all the time and I never win big. I only manage to win ten or twenty dollars after three tries, so the guy in the story should win only that much to make it more believable. I write stuff on Reddit all the time. Storytellers should be more careful with their stories. Another stupid part is ‘The Googolplex’ and I thought it was about Google search but it is not. It is about a girl and numbers of 1 and 0. In the end of the story, the girl discards all the zeroes for some reason and make the number small. I do not understand this at all. The more zeroes mean the number is higher and I think everybody knows this. The guy in the part ‘Subtraction’ is smarter than this girl, I think.
My overall score for this particular piece of literary work is: “I’m late!” out of 10.
(In case there is some confusion, this was a satirical post.)